OH $@!% IT'S THE FUZZ

Hey, I do my best to be a responsible parent. But it's never enough, is it? Someone ALWAYS has to go and call the cops.

I somehow found the stamina to go on a walk with Soren the other day, so we went a few blocks to the town athletic fields, which feature a gigantor hill that Soren enjoys running up and down a million times. He invited me to come run with him, which I politely declined, so I sat on the bleachers while he did his thing. Incidentally, just think how much healthier we would all be if we never lost that urge to run at top speed up and down hills just for the hell of it.

Anyway, he was running, I was sitting, and all was well. I did notice a policeman talking to some people outside the church down the block, and wondered what kind of mischief was afoot. Soren spent some time exploring the middle and perimeter of the baseball field, then brought me a dandelion (awwww), which I suggested we bring back home to Grammy (AWWWWWW) as a subtle ploy to get him moving willingly toward home (genius!), and we set off. Just as we'd crossed the street alongside the field, someone called out behind us... how did you guess? It was the police officer.

"Did you just come from the field?" he asked.

"Yes." Did Soren vandalize something while I wasn't looking? Did I somehow accidentally leave my pants on the bleachers?

"Oh, okay. I got a call from some folks who saw your little one running around, but they didn't see anyone with him."

"Oh no! Sorry! I was sitting on the bleachers watching him! I can't keep up with him the way I used to! Ha ha! [etc]" Please don't arrest me omg omg omg

"Tell that to the boys down at the station."

OK, not really.

There's actually no satisfying denouement to the story, which ends rather abruptly with me not getting arrested and Soren enjoying saying hello to the policeman. Heck, I didn't even get a stern reminder to make sure I'm always in a position to catch my son before he runs out into traffic. Must have been my lucky day!