Theseus' Playset

One of the great paradoxes of ancient philosophy of is that of Theseus' ship. So beloved was it by the Athenians that they preserved it, replacing planks as they decayed to keep it in excellent condition. However, the philosophers point out, at some point, no planks that sailed with Theseus remain. Is it still Theseus' ship? If someone were to find one of the discarded, decayed boards that actually sailed with Theseus and build a replica around it, would it not then have a greater claim to being Theseus' ship? Or are there now two ships of Theseus?

While neither Soren and Sigrid--nor their cousins--have yet founded great civilizations, one of my Summer construction projects has been the restoration and updating of a family playset: a wooden play structure rivaling the fun of the $1200 playsets advertised in venerable publications such as Skymall (with much sturdier build). Designed and built by my grandfather for my cousins, the set was passed on to us a couple years ago, when my older cousin began college and my younger cousin obtained his learner's permit. It has been sitting in the corner of our yard for a while, waiting for Sigrid to get enough judgement to not hurt herself, or me to get around to trying to put it together.

When I sorted the pieces to assess the project, I found the elevated platform and railings were still in stunning shape; a good powerwash and restaining would restore them well. However, the parts of the playset that sat on the ground were decayed; even cedar eventually rots out, apparently in less than two decades if it's stored on the ground in the shade. In addition, I wanted to add some additional playset appointments.

Here's the final product:

I replaced the vertical corner supports and ground-level braces, and added a swing and steering wheel.

Soren helped.


I purchased a slide, which is challenging because slides are expensive to ship, and most of the slides available locally are only sold in kits. The local unfinished furniture place assured me they didn't sell individual slides, unless there were "extras" from the kits. We then had a surreal conversation about a particular orphaned slide on their floor, which was clearly "extra": they felt it was important I understand they didn't sell slides, while I tried to get them to suggest a price. I walked out with a good deal.

Surprisingly, it fits in a Jetta.

One of the orignal ladders was badly decayed, and since Sigrid won't be able to climb ladders for some time anyhow, I decided to use the old vertical corner supports as a frame for a climbing wall. There are kid-sized grips for Soren.


And some steps for Sigrid to climb.

It even has the hallmark of a custom playset: it is stained the same color as the shingles on the upper level of our house!

Sound like something your child would enjoy? Fear not! I still have a few scraps and partially decayed planks from the original. I'm sure we can negotiate an appropriate price for one of these artifacts. Then you, too, can have Theseus' playset!

Soren's Memoirs, ibid.

Hello. I'm Soren.


This morning, as I do every morning, I woke up, ran into Mommy and Daddy's room, and asked Mommy whether she had remembered to keep the TV plugged in and tuned to PBS Kids. She said yes. Then I asked whether she had put my appetizer on the kitchen table. She said yes. So I went downstairs, got my appetizer (Cheerios), turned on the TV, and wedged myself behind the couch cushions to watch cartoons. Then I remembered the rest of my morning routine, and went back upstairs to tell Mommy that when she came downstairs, she should pretend not to see me, and that she shouldn't look in the couch because there are mosquitoes. So she came down, looked around and couldn't find me, and then said mosquitoes didn't scare her and sat on the couch and smushed me (but only a little). And that's my morning routine.

I like fall because there are hay rides.



When we go places in the car, sometimes I like to rest, but I don't want to miss anything exciting. So I tell Mommy or Daddy to let me know if they see any Mustangs, Cadillacs, BMWs, Mercedes, Mini Coopers, Lincolns, or any other classic cars. Unless the cars are brown, in which case I don't want to look at them. Then I add more and more cars to the notification list until it would have been shorter to just tell Mommy or Daddy which cars I didn't want to know about.

I also like fall because there are corn mazes.



For Halloween, I have insisted that I want to dress as a Spooooooky convertible Corvette (said in a spooky voice). Mommy had better get cracking on that.

I am very helpful. I put the silverware away when Mommy unloads the dishwasher, and I put my own shoes on occasionally, and I love mopping (too bad Mommy only mops three times a year). I also like to help Daddy work on various home and yard improvement projects. I excel with the socket wrench.



That's it for now. I'm off to run around and around and around and around for a while. Let me know if you see any Mustangs, Cadillacs, BMWs, Mercedes, Mini Coopers, Lincolns, or any other classic cars.

Sigrid's Memoirs, Ghostwritten by Mommy

Hi. My name is Sigrid.



Right now, I'm sitting in my crib, singing and occasionally applauding myself. I may be singing Old MacDonald. It's hard to tell.

We went to the Topsfield Fair yesterday, and since I didn't get to go on any rides, I got an insanely expensive inflatable Sponge Bob. I love him very much and hugged him for about an hour in the car on the way home. Mom hopes he will be my favorite toy for about 20 years so that the amortized cost of Sponge Bob will seem reasonable.

I went out to the vegetable garden the other day, picked a Serrano pepper, and took a bite out of it. I didn't cry, but I made a very amusing face. Then I went out the next day and did it again.

I get very enthusiastic about weird things. I had a request in the early afternoon one day last week: "Take. Baf. Take. Baf." Mommy asked disbelievingly, "You want to take a bath?" to which I responded "OOHHHHH! KAAAAYYYYYY!"

I'm in that phase of learning to take where everything comes out as a series of one-word statements. "Bunny. Ride. Car." "Bear. Swing. Whee!" "Sorry. Mess. Letters. Mommy." That last one was after my very first time-out, which happened after I dumped magnetic letters all over the floor and wouldn't help clean them up. I was told that if I didn't pick them up, I would get a time-out. I've seen Soren get lots of time-outs, so it seems like a very grown-up thing to do, and I have the proper technique memorized; I headed right for the time-out chair, sat nicely for 90 seconds, and gave the aforementioned apology. Then I did help pick up letters. It's a good thing I have a big brother to show me how to behave.

I take reading very seriously.



Soren is very nice to me sometimes...



...but sometimes I think he wants to ship me off to Abu Dhabi.



He can't afford the postage, though, so I'm here to stay. And that's the end of my cutesy blog post.

Everything in the Whole World

That's what I feel like I have to put into each post if I'm going to go so long between posts. Which makes me want to go even longer between posts, because I don't really have the patience to write about everything in the whole world. Well, and sometimes it's the opposite problem, I guess, because I often feel like I don't do anything interesting and have nothing to write about. So I really can't win.

So what have we been up to? Vacations! Chris and I got to go to Paris for a week while Grammy and Grampy (Chris's parents) stayed at our house with the kids. The grandparents held up remarkably well, and fled the house much more slowly and subtly when I got back than I might have done in their position. They report that the kids were very well-behaved and they all had a great time together. Meanwhile, Chris and I were also well-behaved and had a great time together, so it was a win-win-win situation! It was my first time in Paris, visited all the major attractions (the Louvre, Versailles, Arc d'Triomphe, Notre Dame, Musee d'Orsay, Eiffel Tower), and a couple that seemed like they'd be minor that turned out to actually be major (the Orangerie Museum and St. Denis cathedral). The Orangerie seemed like a blip on the Paris museum radar before we showed up -- I'd never heard of it, so I assumed no one else had either, but there turned out to be a huge line when we got there waiting for the museum to reopen because it had apparently filled up. The main awesomenesses within were two oval rooms encircled (enovaled?) by giant Monet water lily paintings. The scale and the colors were enthralling.




The other major minor attraction, St-Denis cathedral, was my favorite. Besides being the oldest dated Gothic cathedral in France (construction began in 1136), it is the burial site of all but three of the kings who ruled France between the 10th century and the revolution. I really only appreciate history if it's really old, and this counts. Some of the stained glass is original, which is crazy if you think about windows surviving for 900 years, and all of it is gorgeous. Since the cathedral is a longish Metro ride out of the city, the tourist count was low, and we were able to experience the space in peace. That made a huge difference, I think. Notre Dame might have been really interesting, but I wouldn't know, because there were 500000 people there and I wasn't interested in sticking around for long. So I highly recommend visiting St. Denis if you happen to be in the neighborhood.




And now the children are insisting that I pay attention to them. Au revoir.

Classic

Scene: The classic car show at Goddard Park yesterday morning.

Soren: Mommy, what does 'classic' mean?

Mommy: Old. And nice. Kind of like 'antique'.

[pause]

Soren: Mommy, I think you're classic.

Soren's Rules for Cars

Soren has four Rules for Cars, or so he says; I've only heard two. But here they are:

1. The smaller, the faster.

2. Fast is a blast; no wonder it passed.

Good rules, I'd say.

We were walking on Main Street the other day, and Soren pointed to a parked car and cried, "Is that a Bentley?!?!"

A man sitting on the adjacent restaurant patio said, "How does he know that? How old is that kid?" He and his wife were very impressed (it was their car). I think Bentley owners might like being openly recognized by people who have no preconceptions about what a Bentley owner might be like.

Hot and Bothered

Summer. Bah humbug. Too hot for typing long sentences. At least there are farmers' markets. And air conditioning. And a quart+ of blackberries ripening in the yard. And lightness at 8 PM. And kids playing in the sprinkler. And watermelon. And Zyrtec.

I got my hair cut really super short yesterday, so now it's completely off my neck, and that helps with the heat. Plus people claim it looks cute. Also I have new glasses. I like them. And my toenails are painted silver.

Many things have happened in June. Soren is four. There was celebrating. He wants four more parties, he says. He also claims that he is now almost five. I made a carrot cake, and a chocolate one. I did this even though it required turning on the oven. I must really love that boy.

Oh, and sangria. Add that to the list of pros.

Add air conditioning again. It deserves to be listed twice.

Soren also graduated from preschool, except not really, because next year he's going to... preschool. But a different one. They sang cute songs at graduation and Soren used his diploma like a telescope. There was a slideshow of the kids in class and on various field trips. They're so cute. I got all teary. Motherhood. Seriously.

We got a giant bubble maker and now giant patches of the lawn are dead. Worth it.

Sigrid likes to get naked and run around the yard. I guess I can't post a picture of that because this is the internet. But it's cute. She has a narrow little butt and a giant belly and she barely bends her knees when she runs. She squirts the hose in her own face and gets all mad and then laughs. Silly.

It's all good.